i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I would ride that face into the sunset
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
