dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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