i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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