Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Randomize
