do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it's great music for shaving your balls
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
