So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
