we made out on top of his cat.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
