When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
