so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
