my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
When are your genitals available?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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