Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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