so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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