I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
