Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
