as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
