the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
