If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
