some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Blood and glitter go together right?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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