So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
