Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
