Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
