I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
