Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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