I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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