What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
