I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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