sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
