I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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