I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
