she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
