omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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