I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
