we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
