Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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