Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
