She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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