She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
