Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
