I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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