So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
