Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
