i think i have herpe
just one?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
