why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
