So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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