I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
