yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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