I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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