there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
