Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
