Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
