Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
