I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
