Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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