i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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