i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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