I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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