sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
