I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
