Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
