omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
