Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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