Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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