They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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