Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
