grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
