Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
how drunk are you?
Several
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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