I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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