Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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